So many ideas I once thought obvious, I once held as indisputable, have begun to make no sense to me. For decades, I listened and believed, listened and believed, thought and believed. And now I don't even know what I believe. The dots used to all connect but now they're scrambled, and I'm trying to see if I can untangle the lines.
I'm going it alone.
My questions are so fundamental, my struggles so deep, my foundation so cracking, that I can turn to no one. I would be seen as an aberration to anyone who's known me, if they heard my heart cries. I don't know how this will turn out. I don't know if I'll find the answers I need. I don't know what I will believe, or if anyone will love me no matter what.
It's a scary place to be.
I'm going it alone.
My questions are so fundamental, my struggles so deep, my foundation so cracking, that I can turn to no one. I would be seen as an aberration to anyone who's known me, if they heard my heart cries. I don't know how this will turn out. I don't know if I'll find the answers I need. I don't know what I will believe, or if anyone will love me no matter what.
It's a scary place to be.
7 comments:
I will love you, Mom. No matter what. <3
I am so sorry you feel so alone. If I can help please let me know. I am praying for you.
Thanks, hon.
Thank you, friend. I appreciate your prayers and encouragement.
Lisa,
If this a cry for help and you would like to talk, please know I'm available!
Kathy (from Pathway).
Thanks, Kathy. It's actually not a cry for help, as I'm pretty sure no Evangelical Christian could help me right now, unless they had struggled with similar issues.
You’re welcome Lisa. If you change your mind, please let me know. I am an evangelical Christian, but also a mom, wife, thinker, and human being : ). Not sure if you are currently struggling with the veracity of scripture, but if not, I would like to lovingly toss this one out for meditation. It has spoken to me deeply in my darkest hours - sometimes it seemed almost too simple an answer to embrace, though I knew in my heart it was wholly true.
It was Jesus” response to the anxious Martha.
“ Martha, Martha, you are worried and troubled about many things. but ONE thing is needed, and Mary has chosen that good part, which will not be taken away from her.”
And that ONE needful thing was, simply, sitting at Jesus’ feet listening to what He said.
Again, in spite of whatever doctrinal, philosophical, political differences we may have, I’m confident all of our “answers” are in His Word and if you want to try to hash them out together sometime, just let me know. May you have a peace-filled day.
Post a Comment