Worship and Sorrow

Our new church had an evening of worship singing last night (with the intent of making a c.d. soon), and I was so excited to attend. I’ve really appreciated the music on Sunday mornings at The Falls Church, and loved the thought of an extra evening of singing! It didn’t quite turn out like I thought…

My biggest disappointment was the large number of songs I didn’t know. Of course I still appreciated the words and enjoyed the music, but it’s kind of hard to sing along if you don’t even know the music! (Especially if it’s being recorded!) I go through this every time I move and begin worshipping at a new church. Sunday mornings seem easier, though, than an entire night of unfamiliar worship songs.

I was also struck with a feeling of sorrow – missing my recent churches in Oxford and Amman, and the music that I’d grown to love there. The thought occurred to me, “I actually don’t want a c.d. of TFC music as much as I wish I had c.d.’s of Magdalen Road Church and Oasis songs, to remind me of churches I love." That’s always been a dream of mine: to have recorded music from the various youth groups and churches that have been important to me over the course of my life.

It was a great experience, of course, to worship with hundreds of fellow Jesus-followers. Most of the time, I was focused on our amazing God, and relished the Scriptures read and the glimpse of future heavenly worship. I also reveled in the incredible drum-playing (yes, I'm partial to drums, especially African ones!) and other expertise by guest musicians. It was an aural delight and I’m not sorry I went. But I did come away sad and a bit melancholy. It’s not easy to continually move, especially when it means leaving behind dearly loved churches and friends…

February Pics

Pics top to bottom:
The kids visiting their great-grandma in Pennyslvania; playing foozball at a community center's Family Fun Night; college friend Barb visiting from London; and making Valentine cookies together that we gave out to neighbors and the local librarians.

March Update

Happy March everyone! We enjoyed the Spring-like weather today by going to the local park, running some laps around the football field and playing frisbee. That is, until Ethan got hit in the mouth by one of my high-speed throws. Sigh… The sight of blood did him in, and we came back home for lunch, nap and more school. Now the kids are outside, sucking on homemade popsicles with a couple neighbor boys from across the street. I’m hoping that warmer weather will make it easier for my kids to make friends, as more children will be playing outside after school.

It’s hard to believe we’ve only been in our new home for 3 ½ months. It feels like it’s been longer than that. Not counting Steve’s parents, we’ve already had 3 overnight guests at various times, and have another lined up for later this month. In fact, we have a friend from Amman who might be staying with us for weeks as she transitions back to U.S. life later this Spring. It’s nice to be in a place where there are 3 airports, many attractions, and work conferences that friends need to attend. I love hosting people! (If you know me, feel free to invite yourself!!)

I’m still struggling to find routine here … trying to balance my housework, my cooking, my teaching, and my computer work, all in the midst of Steve’s new commute and crazy-busy schedule of combining PhD research with a full-time job. I wish I were a naturally organized and structured person so it wasn’t such a battle for me. Plus I’m trying to throw in extra things now, like Community Bible Study and church (now that we’ve found a home church – yay!). I also continue to feel a bit “at odds” with my surroundings since we are the only white family in our entire neighborhood, and perhaps even town. It probably bothers me less than it bothers the rest of my family, since I have more experience than they in being a minority. But still… for some reason, it makes me feel a bit inhibited and self-conscious.

The kids are doing okay. I still haven’t gotten Ethan speech therapy, but he does seem to be steadily improving. His favorite activities are playing card games and playing with Josiah & his stuffed animals. Naomi has almost finished a 24-book series about wild horses in Nevada, and has gotten excited about the idea of trying to save land for horses (from cattle grazing). Josiah seems less and less content every time we move – he used to be the most happy-go-lucky sort of guy and now he complains a lot. I’m not sure why…

So such as it is, that’s our latest “news” (if you can even call it that!). I’m praying for friendships to develop soon. We’re all getting a bit tired of being friend-less.

After church today, Ethan said to me, "Mom can you buy me a Bible?" ... "But first, can you teach me to read?"

Restoring Sanity

I've been struggling with my temper lately. (It's actually always a struggle, to be honest!) My kids seem to be grumpy and prone to fighting, and that puts me into bad moods. I've also been lacking in sleep, due to working late nights. And after moving to Maryland, I've neglected to meet with a new healthcare provider and get my antidepressant meds refilled.

Yesterday things were really not going well, and by the time Steve got home from work, I knew I had to get away. Thankfully he was fine staying home with the kids while I "ran away" for 3 hours, hiding out in a Mexican restaurant (because Starbucks was shut at 8:05 PM!!!) to read, think, pray and generally enjoy silence!!

The first thing I did, before I even got there, was to pray in the car, confessing to God how sorry I was for my mean and unjust behavior towards the kids that day. Then when I sat down to wait for my food, I opened the Bible to read Philippians. I was really struck with chapter 1, verse 27, which says, "Whatever happens, conduct yourselves in a manner worthy of the gospel of Christ." It hit me hard, as I knew that I had *not* conducted myself in a manner worthy of the Gospel that day!! I'd like to make it my "mantra" of sorts for the next few months.

I spent the rest of the time jotting down lists (what exactly is bugging me about the kids, goals I have for school, home, chores, and my own self-discipline, etc.), speed-reading a few books ("Teach Your Children Well" by Christine Allison and "Creative Correction" by Lisa Whelchel), and giving myself the time and quiet to re-focus. I couldn't believe how refreshing it was to have a 3-hour chunk of uninterrupted-by-children silent time!! I think I'll try to make it a regular habit, if not weekly then perhaps biweekly. It definitely restored some sanity!

Playing at St. Simon Island, Georgia with cousins!

Two Months in Maryland

We've been in our new home for 2 months now, and I've been frightfully negligent about writing! It's been a whirlwind 2 months of having overnight guests, going away for Thanksgiving, having family stay for Christmas, 3 of us having birthdays, and then going away again -- first to Williamsburg and then Steve to England and the rest of us to Georgia. We've hardly had any normal weeks!!

But we're definitely feeling more and more settled. We really like our townhouse. Highlights of it include a fireplace, 2 spare rooms which we use for school and guests, a gorgeous kitchen, and a play area just across our tiny street. It's been hard to get to know our neighbors, partly because we've led such crazy lives ourselves, and partly because it's been getting colder and colder so fewer kids are playing outside. But we have intentions -- now we just need to act on them!

Steve is enjoying his new job, and finding that it really does suit his skills and interests. He's gotten many compliments on his editorial work, which confirms that he's doing the right thing! He's also just formally begun his PhD work through the University of Exeter, which at the moment means lots of extra reading. He's "all-but-dissertation" so the next few years will entail lots of research and writing, and editing and writing, and yearly trips to Exeter, England.

Our most recent news is that we've finally found a church that we're 98% sure we'll commit to as our new home church. We're really excited about The Falls Church -- about their worship, outreach, preaching, people and devotion to Jesus. And we're grateful to finally know where we're going every Sunday, and to finally look forward to church!