I used to think this would be the best year of my life. I was tired of the individualism of American living and the isolation of suburbs. I'd heard I was coming to a place of community and I looked so forward to sharing ups and downs with other Christians here. I anticipated meals together and worship together, praying for each other and many joys.
Instead, I've wept more tears than I can ever remember shedding in a 3-month time span.
This is no community.
This is a place where my heart gets broken on a regular basis; where my baby does not get held; where my family gets ignored at every single meal while others eat together, even Christmas dinner; where others worship or do fun outings together and leave us out. This is a place where no one visited me in the hospital, even though I was completely alone and surrounded by non-English speakers. This is a place where I can cry and no one cares; where I can call out for help and the only one who answers is an ocean away; where the only people who pray with or for me are tourists I meet in passing.
This is one of the loneliest places on the planet.
Instead, I've wept more tears than I can ever remember shedding in a 3-month time span.
This is no community.
This is a place where my heart gets broken on a regular basis; where my baby does not get held; where my family gets ignored at every single meal while others eat together, even Christmas dinner; where others worship or do fun outings together and leave us out. This is a place where no one visited me in the hospital, even though I was completely alone and surrounded by non-English speakers. This is a place where I can cry and no one cares; where I can call out for help and the only one who answers is an ocean away; where the only people who pray with or for me are tourists I meet in passing.
This is one of the loneliest places on the planet.
1 comment:
My heart aches for your loneliness. I get it. We're most lonely when we're surrounded by people who ignore us or leave us out, rather than when we're alone. I love you.
Post a Comment