Dear Baby...

Dearest Little One,

I never envisioned that I'd be having a fifth child, but here you are, one week from your due date, strongly kicking and frequently hiccuping: ready and waiting to make your grand entrance to this world. I've been in love with you since learning of your existence back in early February, and now absolutely can't wait to meet you in person. You have 4 brothers and sisters also anxious to hold you and kiss you -- and to see if you're a boy or a girl!! Dad and I have your names picked out (first and middle for both boy and girl) and look forward to calling you by name instead of "Baby."

Though I began living overseas as a child myself, and have called 6 countries "home" over the years, you will be my first baby to be born in a foreign country. I know you won't remember your months of living in Jerusalem, but we will take pictures and write down as much as we can, so you have a record of this precious time in all our lives.

I'm sad that despite your being born into a family (immediate and extended) and community that will love you oodles and take good care of you, you're also being born into a world (immediate and extended) that struggles in so many heartbreaking ways. Your own first "home" of Israel/Palestine is still suffering from decades of inequity and violence. We live just outside the border crossing gate into Bethlehem, where electricity is severely limited, water is not clean, and trash does not get collected. Residents can not leave without a permit, and are not allowed Israeli passports. Honestly, it's a struggle to maintain hope for these people when I see such human rights violations.

And your own "passport country" is almost as depressing for your dad and me. Despite having a history that has been sad and violent from its beginnings, your country of origin used to be known by the world as a beacon of democracy and justice, where immigrants were welcome and people were respected. You are being born at a time, though, when I daily despair from news of immigration being hugely limited, funding for schools and public aid being slashed, police shooting people without justification, and most recently, men being put in positions of highest power despite patterns of lying and treating women very poorly. And even more sad: seeing a huge number of Americans defending these people and actions.

I pray that, even as the world falls apart and many question the wisdom of bringing another human into existence at such a time as this, you know beauty and hope in your precious life. I pray that you see a heartbreaking world as a place to serve and lift up your fellow humans. I pray that your eyes can look past the ugly and notice both the grandeur and intricate beauty of creation. I pray that your heart will be soft enough to feel the pain of others, but not be bowed down in despair. I pray that you will always know how valuable and treasured you are. You are unique, you are wanted, you are loved. I will make countless mistakes in parenting you. Our family is a messy, mixed-up group of people, but we will do our best to nurture you, learn from you, let you be yourself, shelter you when it's time to and at the same time, give you wings to fly. I love you, sweet Little One... Mama