I had heard that the state of America's mental healthcare left much to be desired, but now I'm seeing up front and personal what a struggle it really can be. It's a shame that at the point when one is depressed, perhaps as low as they've ever been, it takes such an effort to find affordable help. It is not as straightforward as looking at a list of insurance-provided doctors and then making a phone call or two. (Even that in itself can feel overwhelming when one is desperate for help.)
No, of course it could not be that easy. Even after making a list of local names and numbers, and then starting to dial them, mentally preparing to introduce myself over and over again, I faced obstacle after obstacle, leaving me wondering why I even bothered. There were the numbers that were never answered, and the ones on whose machines I left a message. There were the doctors who answered but are no longer taking new patients. The doctors who, though on my insurance's list, don't actually take Medicaid after all. The numbers that were incorrect. The numbers that turned out to be for a general office, the secretary of which then redirected me to another number ... and another... and another. If one could feel dizzy from making phone calls, that's how I'd feel.
So I've actually made zero progress, other than finally booking an appointment with a new GP. People claim there's good in that. ("At least they'll prescribe meds for you.") But I don't want medication as much as I need someone to talk to, someone to listen, someone to help me get out of this stupid quicksand I'm sinking in.
Maybe I have to wait until I'm desperate again and then use inpatient help since outpatient seems non-existent. Great way to prevent disasters. Way to go, American "health" system!
No, of course it could not be that easy. Even after making a list of local names and numbers, and then starting to dial them, mentally preparing to introduce myself over and over again, I faced obstacle after obstacle, leaving me wondering why I even bothered. There were the numbers that were never answered, and the ones on whose machines I left a message. There were the doctors who answered but are no longer taking new patients. The doctors who, though on my insurance's list, don't actually take Medicaid after all. The numbers that were incorrect. The numbers that turned out to be for a general office, the secretary of which then redirected me to another number ... and another... and another. If one could feel dizzy from making phone calls, that's how I'd feel.
So I've actually made zero progress, other than finally booking an appointment with a new GP. People claim there's good in that. ("At least they'll prescribe meds for you.") But I don't want medication as much as I need someone to talk to, someone to listen, someone to help me get out of this stupid quicksand I'm sinking in.
Maybe I have to wait until I'm desperate again and then use inpatient help since outpatient seems non-existent. Great way to prevent disasters. Way to go, American "health" system!
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