I've been struggling with my temper lately. (It's actually always a struggle, to be honest!) My kids seem to be grumpy and prone to fighting, and that puts me into bad moods. I've also been lacking in sleep, due to working late nights. And after moving to Maryland, I've neglected to meet with a new healthcare provider and get my antidepressant meds refilled.
Yesterday things were really not going well, and by the time Steve got home from work, I knew I had to get away. Thankfully he was fine staying home with the kids while I "ran away" for 3 hours, hiding out in a Mexican restaurant (because Starbucks was shut at 8:05 PM!!!) to read, think, pray and generally enjoy silence!!
The first thing I did, before I even got there, was to pray in the car, confessing to God how sorry I was for my mean and unjust behavior towards the kids that day. Then when I sat down to wait for my food, I opened the Bible to read Philippians. I was really struck with chapter 1, verse 27, which says, "Whatever happens, conduct yourselves in a manner worthy of the gospel of Christ." It hit me hard, as I knew that I had *not* conducted myself in a manner worthy of the Gospel that day!! I'd like to make it my "mantra" of sorts for the next few months.
I spent the rest of the time jotting down lists (what exactly is bugging me about the kids, goals I have for school, home, chores, and my own self-discipline, etc.), speed-reading a few books ("Teach Your Children Well" by Christine Allison and "Creative Correction" by Lisa Whelchel), and giving myself the time and quiet to re-focus. I couldn't believe how refreshing it was to have a 3-hour chunk of uninterrupted-by-children silent time!! I think I'll try to make it a regular habit, if not weekly then perhaps biweekly. It definitely restored some sanity!
2 comments:
I hear you loud and clear, Lisa. One thing I always tell new parents is that having children has made me laugh more than I ever did BC (before children), but it's also made me angry more than I ever was BC. Some combination of expectations, time pressures, tiredness, personality, power, and impatience seems to combine to brew quite a storm. I hate how much my throat hurts after I yell at my kids! :)
Keep on seeking God and being gentle with yourself. And try to schedule more of those times away. I would imagine that, especially with homeschooling, some time alone is really important. And those antidepressants--get that prescription filled! Drugs (at least some varieties of them!) are God's gift to us! :)
peace and grace to you!
Can you go to BSF or CBS to have some quality time without kids, while they have a parallel study? And pray about whether it's time to put one or more of them into school. They can perhaps skip grades if they are ahead of the year?
Post a Comment