That word pretty much sums up my existence these days. My two biggest frustrations centre on Ethan and my lack of discipline.
Ethan still does not talk, yet is growing increasingly frustrated by his desire to communicate. I get so tired of hearing "Mama" repeated over and over again, often amidst tears, as he's unable to tell me what the actual problem is. I'm also stymied by his picky eating. He won't even try foods anymore. Tonight he just sniffed my stir-fry and said "Bleh" (his new-found word for all things yucky) He didn't touch it.
And then there's myself that I'm frustrated with! My lack of discipline with time, with food, and with money management. I struggle to get enough sleep, tending to stay up past the time I'm tired, and then when I've slept in, the whole day starts late and feels off-kilter. I struggle with over-eating ... eating for the wrong reasons, not stopping when I should, etc. And I haven't been good about keeping track of expenditures and really trying to stick to a budget.
There's a place near our new home that has at least one speech therapist available to the community and I'm planning to call her first thing, tomorrow. I'm really desperate to get help for Ethan because we're all starting to go crazy from his lack of speech!
Regarding myself, I don't know what to do. I have the feeling I need accountability, but beyond that, I'm not sure where to start. And I don't know who to be accountable to. How do I keep from hiding my true self? How do I get out of my state of denial? If you know me well and are a pray-er, I certainly would appreciate your prayers.