My Little Girl

I find it really hard to parent my daughter Naomi.

She is a wonderful person much of the time, in many ways. She has talents in various areas and and is a faithful friend. She can be sweet and kind to her brothers and other smaller children. She can be very helpful around the house. I especially admire the way she sings whenever she has a job to do -- she can be very cheerful!

But there are some characteristics of hers that I really struggle with. I know that sometimes I should simply lower my expectations and remember that she's only 7. Other times, I should be more pro-active and look for ways to truly address her problems instead of waiting 'til I'm reacting like a volcano. And all the time, I should be praying for her, something I've sadly neglected.

I bought a book a few years ago called "Just Mom and Me Having Tea" that has Bible studies, activities and question/answer ideas for moms to do with their daughters. I'd like to set aside time to spend with Naomi regularly to go through this book and hopefully build up a better relationship. Maybe doing that first will give me a more positive outlook, in preparation for the more difficult issues.

I pray that God will help me be a better mom. I can not do this job well on my own.

Crying for Ethan

Friends gave Naomi and me a ride in their car to choir practice yesterday. On the way, I was able to listen to the mom converse with her 4-year-old (just turned 4 a month ago). I marvelled at the normal dialogue, which for me has become something longed for in the unknown future.

Later that night, my recollections of the give-and-take, the detailed words, and the easy understanding, caused tears to run down my cheeks. It made me keenly aware of what I'm missing in my relationship with Ethan.

I've grown accustomed to how Ethan communicates. I consider myself the expert at understanding him (though perhaps rivaled by his siblings!), and I don't think twice about my methods of asking follow-up questions, watching his signs carefully, and using context. We generally get along fine, though there are frustrating moments. Speech therapy is helping, and I notice continual growth.

But every time I hear a child with normal speech development interact with his parent, I catch my breath, realizing again how different Ethan is. And I wonder ... what thoughts of his am I missing? What observations is he making that he can not explain to us? What intelligence is lurking in him that we are not privy to?

God, grant me patience and determination, as I hope and long for the day when I can talk with my son about anything, no matter how abstract. Wipe my tears, as I miss these moments now, and Lord, please, please help him speak.

Tadpoles

My animal-loving son was absolutely thrilled when friends offered to let him take home some of their many tadpoles just over a week ago. With pleasure, he scooped out five and brought them home in a glass jar.

Ever since our fish died in January, our plastic fish tank has been sitting empty in the closet. Josiah excitedly filled it with water and introduced his pets to their new home, complete with pond-weed and boiled lettuce. All four of us hovered above, watching the wiggling, swimming critters with wonder. I'm not sure I'd ever seen a tadpole up close before.

When we were away for a long weekend, I was slightly worried that our tadpoles would not make it in our absence. But upon our return, we were relieved to see all five still happily swimming around. I'd had no idea how much tadpoles poop, though! The water was definitely looking a bit yucky, so yesterday, the kids and I went to the Thames to collect some new water.

Unfortunately, during the transfer of tadpoles from the old to new water, one of them was injured and we could see blood. I hoped that it would recover, but late that night, I discovered that it had died. I reminded the kids that in the wild, a significant percentage of animal offspring do not survive. Hopefully our home will provide a semi-safe space for these tiny creatures to become full-grown frogs.

Then today, Naomi came to me saying, "Mom, one tadpole has a white head. I'm afraid something's wrong with it." I was busy at the time, but later checked on the pets, only to discover that indeed, the white-faced tadpole had died.

So now we're down to three tadpoles. I'm really hoping that at least one survives to frog-hood! We're all anxiously awaiting the chance to see metamorphosis up close and personal. Hang in there, guys!

Milestones

The past few months have held a number of milestones for our family. The first was Steve and I celebrating our ten year anniversary in early January. Just saying that makes me feel old! I'm grateful to God for the gift of a husband who loves me patiently and faithfully, persevering through all the ups and downs that ten years brings. Steve is the biggest blessing in my life.

Then in February, I made a concerted effort to get my kids to the pool and help them conquer their water fears. At first, Ethan would sit timidly on the steps, content to play with his toys, but crying if I carried him further into the water. Naomi and Josiah were scared to even put their faces briefly in the water. By the end of that month, Naomi was able to swim, both she and Josiah were happy to be underwater as much as above water, and Ethan was also confident in his floaty-ring anywhere in the pool.

Finally, in the past two weeks we've had two more momentous changes. Naomi has taught herself to ride a bike and Ethan is out of diapers! Naomi had some help from me a year ago, just on a couple occasions, but I was never good about following up. She's taught herself out of desperation, and even cycled the 20 minutes to church on Sunday!

Ethan also pretty much trained himself. I used candy rewards for the first two days but after that he was doing so well, I dropped the rewards. He's already using the big toilet, mostly dry at night, and has only had a handful of accidents in the past three weeks.

Even though much of our life is uncertain right now, and Steve especially is under huge stress, it's helpful to celebrate the milestones, and to remember that God is working no matter what!

Daffodils

The kids and I have been memorizing poetry together this school year. Our repertoire so far has been “The Caterpillar” by Christina Rosetti, “Dreams” by Langston Hughes, “Ducks’ Ditty” by Kenneth Grahame, “Silverly” by Dennis Lee, and a few short ones by authors unknown. My language arts book includes poetry memorization, but after using a few of the selected ones in the curriculum, I decided I’d rather choose our own poems.

We were just ready to begin a new poem when Spring came in all its glory. I was inspired and chose “Daffodils” by William Wordsworth for our next poem. I had memorized it as a fifth grader and still had snatches of it in my heart. It seemed fitting to learn it as Oxford’s own daffodils bloomed.

Now a few weeks later, we have learned the last line. It has been hard work, but also such a joy to say these beautiful verses together. It was a delight to hear Josiah say, “The last line is my favorite.” Yes, he actually gets excited about poetry!

“And then my heart with pleasure fills

And dances with the daffodils!”

Little By Little, by Amber Stewart

Little By Little is a sweet story about an otter who hasn't yet learned to swim. He recognizes that he has many things he can do, but feels bad that he can't swim. His sister kindly helps him by encouraging him to take small steps forward -- first hopping in water, then floating, and eventually swimming. It's a nice way for kids to see that growth comes little by little. It also has lovely illustrations!

December Day with the Gertzes

December 7, 2009

Believe it or not, Ethan is still not completely weaned. He'll be three in 2 weeks, but this morning wanted to nurse in my bed. For the past year, I've been torn, not knowing whether I should be glad or annoyed that he loves nursing so much. Nursing a pre-schooler is so unusual that my biggest fear was what others thought of me if they found out. Most people probably don't even know though.

In the last month, he's begun to taper off, and at times I even thought we were through. So I think the end is in sight. But this morning, I enjoyed cuddling with him in my warm bed.

I heard that the other kids were up so hauled myself out of bed at about 8. In an effort for more breakfast diversity (we'd eaten cold cereal for the past few days), I made oatmeal and flavored it with maple. Yum! We had no trouble finishing the entire pot! Following breakfast, we spent some time cleaning up the living room and entryway, particularly vacuuming. It was long overdue.

As my Christmas concert is just 6 days away, and my last regular rehearsal was to be tonight, I decided to spend some concentrated time on trouble spots in my music. Josiah was working on his Arabic, using the Rosetta Stone computer program. He's on a lesson about the numbers 1-10. Naomi colored in a new coloring book. After 20 minutes, I had them switch. Steve also contributed today with a 15 minute lesson on the first few letters of the Arabic alphabet.

It really helped me to go over my music. I'd gotten a piano keyboard a few weeks ago from someone on Freecycle, but didn't yet have the correct power supply for it. I finally found one at a charity shop last Saturday, so was able to bang out the notes that have been giving me a hard time.

After Arabic, the kids and I read from our "One Year Bible for Kids." We're just at the transition of leadership from Moses to Joshua. Today we read Moses' song of praise to God, as well as God's words to Joshua in Joshua 1. What a great way to start the day!

Then we did spelling. We use a spelling curriculum called "Spelling by Sound and Structure," and today we began a review unit. The kids and I looked at the past 5 weeks' worth of words, reminded ourselves of the various structure patterns, and focused on the tricky words (head, said, front, son, catch and wash). Josiah loves spelling. Later in the day, he opened his workbook to a future lesson and began doing it just for fun!

After spelling came math. The key principle of "Math-U-See" is that kids should "build, write, and say" as they learn their facts. It's a hands-on approach, using colored blocks, and today the kids used the blocks to show me their "+2" facts. Ethan was at the table, too, drawing while we did spelling and playing with the blocks while we did math.

I made pasta and chicken for lunch, and then we read some books. Though our new furnished flat included 2 black faux-leather love seats, we also decided to keep a couch that friends had given us. It is long, soft and perfect for winter reading. All of us cuddle together on it and try to ward off the cold. Reading is our favorite thing to do together!

Ethan went down for his nap, I washed dishes and did some more music practice. My intention was to do more school with the kids, particularly beginning a book called "Sarah Whitcher's Story," but I got too sleepy. I sent the kids to various rooms to do quiet activities and fell asleep on the couch.

Naomi and Josiah have apparently just realized how close Christmas is. They got super-excited today and spent half of the afternoon making and wrapping gifts for family members. I have no idea what they made. Guess I'll have to wait until December 25! But the presents look gorgeous, nicely wrapped, complete with bows and labels. Very cute...

I lazily made frozen fish, chips, and peas for dinner, but did make homemade applesauce for dessert. I got ready for choir while the kids were clearing the dirty dishes and emptying the dish drain. This meant collecting my music, bike helmet, bike lights, gloves, reflective shoulder strap, check for my choir fees, and debit card to use later at the grocery store.

It takes me just over 10 minutes to get to choir rehearsal, but I also add in time on both ends for getting through locked gates and dealing with my bike. I cycle through our tiny village of Iffley, then onto busy Iffley Road which leads straight into city centre. Though many bicycles travel that road and technically there is a cycle lane, the road is narrow and it can be a little scary to share it with buses and rush-hour traffic. Still it's better than bussing or walking!

Choir rehearsal was fun. It's great to be this close to the concert and hear how far we've come in just the past few weeks. I'm getting to know another new choir member (a fellow Californian!) and tonight we had a good bit of time to chat. After rehearsal (over at 9:30), I cycled to Tesco Metro on Cowley Road. I wanted to get a few things necessary for making Christmas cookies and eggnog. I used the self-checkout line and packed my groceries in my backpack.

I got back home by 10:20 and have been cleaning the kitchen or on the computer ever since! Another day in the life...